Run for the Cure 2013, Surrey, Me and Sadness

Everyone knows that Vancouver hosts the Run for the Cure each year and has done so since day 1. What you may not know is that starting next year Surrey (where I live) will be hosting its own run as well. How exciting!!!! 4-6 weeks ago an email went out to all runners letting them know of this new chapter and that they were looking for Co-Directors. My first thought was YES but then I thought of everything else on my plate and thought nah better not.. Then I got an email from them personally asking if I would be interested. I figured what the heck...it must be in the cards...so I said yes that I would send them my resume and an interview was set up weeks ago. A couple of days before my interview Keith had his accident so I postponed it till this morning. This whole week that still small voice kept niggling at the back of my brain telling me to rethink this but my inside voice kept saying shuuuushhh. This would be such an accomplishment!! Talk about groundbreaking processes. It is just as important of a job to be the Director of the Vancouver one (it is a 2 year position) but anyone stepping into the job already has half the work done although it is still such a huge undertaking...the site is already in place, the Vancouver sponsors are in place etc etc... to have it in Surrey means everything has to be started from scratch. You would co chair with another Director. One would be for logistics- finding the site, sponsors, security, equipment, tents, tables etc etc, the other would be for Fundraising and Staffing.With my experience of doing the Yard Sale for the Cure last year it was right up my alley I love being creative. I love taking challenges and turning them into a finished product where I can look at it and think I did that. Even if it is just canning my fruits and vegetables that I am surrounded with now..I like looking at my full shelves and know all my hard work paid off. I hate it when people tell me to slow down. Slow down to do what?Become a couch potato? Play computer games? Read books all day long? That may be ok for some people and I am not in any way pointing fingers at anyone who does this...this is about me and I choose not to be that way. I live with 2 disabilities and I know my limits. I know if I sit still my muscles seize, my spine seizes and then I am laid up for days. I know by remaining active I am living a comfortable life with my pain. All week as my interview got closer and closer (this morning) that still small voice got louder and more frequent. Last night I became physically sick in the middle of the night and I didn't even question it. I got online and emailed the person that I had been communicating with. I told her what had been going on with my husband and that right now my focus needed to be with him 100% and that if I took this job on I would not be able to do it. I asked that she forgive me for the lateness of letting them know and told her that I would love to help out in smaller ways. I thought for sure they would be angry with me, that they would think that they could have had someone else in place for the last month but she emailed me back this morning with a beautifully touching letter. She said she totally understood, that she had been one of the Vancouver Directors before and knows how time consuming it was and that she thanked me for telling her now and not next year when I became overwhelmed and had to back out at the last minute. She asked if it was ok if they put me on one of the committee's that would still be a part of the day to day detailing but to not the extent of the Director's position!! I was very happy with that. When I look back at my husband I think of all he has sacrificed for me over the years and it shouldn't even have been an issue in my head. I am thankful for that still small voice that guided me to make the right decision. I have family back home that are not doing well and when Keith is finally settled I want to go back and spend some time with them and I would not have been able to do that right now with this new job. So although I am sad somewhat about it, I am happy that I did listen (although it would be nice if that still small voice could be as loud as my inside voice!!). Keith is my whole life. Without him I have nothing. I will be crossing that finish line in Surrey in 2013 though and am looking forward to being a part of this huge excitement!!!